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I went out with one or two of the chefs there. I started work at 13 in a local restaurant. I realised that I was set up to be watched by my lovers friends. I told my parent but they just told me not to be ridiculous, that I was imagining it. The son was a few years older than me we were playing in the hay and he pulled me astride him and tried to rape me i realised that this wasnt play and managed to get away. I had a bad feeling about him and refused.Īnother time When I was 11 I was visiting a farm of people my parents knew. I left to walk to Brownies and a few minutes later the salesman stopped his car and tried to get me to get in with him. Another time, my father had had a salesman connected with his work come home to eat with us. Maybe my earliest experience of sexual threat was having my breasts, not that there was much of them, grabbed by an older boy as I walked home from school. There are so many incidents from when I was young that I dont know where to begin. He then spent the rest of the night attempting to get me back upstairs and alone to further kiss and feel me.Īlthough I had experienced light sexually play with a small number of other friends, it was easy to pass it off as part of a 'coming of age', but since maturing into adulthood, I have learned that what happened was manipulative and non-consensual, and ultimately rape.īeing a closeted gay 14 year old, I struggled alone with this memory for years, with no option but to repress it due to being from a very traditional and conservative environment." After, I attempted to shut him out from his further groping and kissing until others got home to distract us.
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Being shy and awkward, I tried to end it on multiple occasions, but he escalated things by groping me and then ultimately pressuring me into giving and receiving oral. After joking that we should kiss, and repeatedly saying no, he manipulated me for about 30 minutes to make me kiss him, which I did to hopefully make him stop and move on. "I was 14, a friend came over after school to hang out. And, with luck and love, you mend a bit like Kintsugi." But for anyone at the start of this process: please know it is true that time can heal. It takes a long time to recover these things, and one is never the same. I hope this happens as this would be a good way to prevent other women and girls going through similar coercion and trauma alone. Even so, I requested they seek with their interdisciplinary teams and police liaisons to work in some way towards having such actions recognised as a specifically named crime - because to book abortions without a woman’s consent is very extreme at a time when a woman or girl is most vulnerable - and this might warn people against such malicious action - they are kindly looking into it. With these new protections, when such malicious and harmful actions occur, it is flagged, and they reach out to these women and girls to ensure they can help get outside help in to a bad situation. I learned that such malicious actors booking without consent isn’t so uncommon, unfortunately, and it is indeed tricky to safeguard this while also safeguarding access for women who need their counselling or services, but now they have better protocol for when this happens. Recently (years later) I spoke to BPAS about this as pro-choice must protect women and girls from coercion in any form. I called to cancel it and the BPAS telephonist told me it was an abortion appointment rather than a counselling appointment). (They told me it was a counselling appointment. As my case demonstrates, while yes and no are a start, it isn’t always as simple as yes and no.Ī family member of his also booked an abortion without my consent to try to coerce me. In terms of university, I wish there had been more pastoral care to have even noticed what was going on, and that the intricacies of consent were taught in all schools. Due to societal conditioning it took me a while to process that I had even been raped. Obviously I had not consented to the sudden violence and attempted murder of my unborn child. He wouldn’t stop and I held my belly and froze focusing on trying to reassure and keep my baby, praying and praying it would end soon - it did not. Sometime mid pregnancy we started making consensual love in our normal way, and then he suddenly got violent during this and tried to shake the baby out of me, even explicitly repeating that this was exactly what he was attempting to do. "Had long term boyfriend during my time at university.